The wrong end of the stick!

Hello readers, Ben here,

This weeks entry is slightly lacking I'm afraid. Its mostly my fault. You see I have been struggling the last couple of days with a henious flu that is most probably, a derivative of the black plague. Don't fear, I shall solider on. Fortunately, thanks to the poor state of English Pharmacy laws I was able to buy all of the drugs a man in my position could want from a seventeen year old at the supermarket. He assured me that I could take these tablets all week and that they would fix my flu.

As such, we only managed a day trip to Colchester. Colchester is about one hours train trip north east of London and is the oldest city in Britian. (Thanks to Pete from my school for recommending it to us!)

RACHAEL DISCOVERS EVIDENCE RELATING TO THE POOR STATE OF THE BRITISH EDUCATION SYSTEM.



The best thing to see in Colchester is of course the castle. As we entered the grounds somebody approached us to be in a short film, it was for the 'Alpha' course. For those of you who don't know what the 'Alpha' course is, its like a discussion based study for people who want to learn more about christianity. Anyway so we got filmed answering questions and they are going to show it in their church.

COLCHESTER CASTLE (See the film crew in the front)


Apparently my hair looked something like this during the filming so we may have been edited out of the final cut. They were smiling a lot during the filming.

BEN'S HAIR AND COLCHESTER CASTLE


The best thing was that you could do a tour and go under the castle. For those of you who dont know, most of the people who conquered Britian (we have learned) were flat out lazy and instead of picking a nice new place to bulid a building would just stick their one on top of the last guys one. In this case the Norman Castle was built out of an old roman temple, the walls of the castle are made from the old temple ruins, so when you go underneath you can see the Roman foundations. We also got to go to the top of the castle. Our friendly guide, 'Dick', showed us the medievil toilet (there is a theme developing here). He told us that these toilets were often drafty because they were just holes that went straight down to the moat. So to stop the draft they would use straw to fill the gap temporarily and then do their buisness. (There was no paper so sometimes moss was used to....well you know, and the moss was put down the toilet as well) Then they would use a stick to push the stuff down the hole. So we get the saying...The wrong end of the stick. Its now obvious which end you dont want.

BEN DOES NOT LET THE AGEIST SIGN "THESE PROPS ARE DESIGNED FOR CHILDREN" STOP HIM!


THE NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM


St Botolph's Priory (Norman church ruins)


St Botolph's Priory (WITH WEIRD WHITE SMUDGE. DODGEY LENSE OR IS IT A GHOST? OOOOOO!)


So ends the entry. We hope that you are all doing well. We miss everybody. Send us an email if you haven't already.

Love Ben and Rach

PS - I have a Q that needs an A. Q - "Why are ruins so much more charming and interesting than buildings that are still all together?" A - I await your response.

British Bulldog 1,2,3

Hello people, Ben here,

As I have said before there are, in my opinion and from my life observations, two types of people. The first type buy things that are expensive, they have brand names, they shop at places like Harrods and love to tell you about their latest purchase because of how great it is - they never mention the price. Then there are people like me, market people. Saturday we went to the local Walthamstow markets. (those of you wishing we had gone to the Notting hill markets, dont worry that's in the plans)

The first type of people, you will not understand the bragging I am about to do but the other type of people will. I bought fruit! Lots of fruit! 12 avocadoes (how much would you expect to pay?) I got them for $2.50, not each, for the lot. (Im converting for your enjoyment) I also got a kilo of cherries ($2.50) plus other assorted things. If your not impressed then off you run to David Jones to buy your overpriced Prada. This is the first time here we have bought something cheaper than we could have in Australia (Not counting the flight to Venice of course)!

RACHAEL AT WALTHAMSTOW MARKETS


The Next day we went on a tourist bus trip. First stop - Oxford University. I have to say that if I was going to study again then I think that Oxford would be the place to do it! The library has the first edition of every book published since the 17th century (or something like that), about 7 million books. It goes seven stories underground. I expected to go to see a University but the whole city is the University. Oxford University has 39 colleges (which is the dorms that you have to live in if you attend the university) and they are spaced out around the city, with shops in between, and the lecture halls are spread around as well. The students have to wear full academic dress to lectures (we saw some going to a Sunday chapel service)and the whole place has a great feel to it.

Now for the trivia. The university police, wear suits and bowler hats, and are nicknamed "Bulldogs". They can fine students for doing the wrong thing like walking on the grass(undergraduates can't walk on the grass), littering, making too much noise etc... According to our tour guide, the slightly nutty but fun "Mad Debbie" (That's what she called herself!), the game British Bulldogs (Also known as Red rover all over) originated from Oxford. Ie: Trying to avoid getting caught by the Bulldog. All of the colleges are set up in Quads, with the grass in the centre and the living quaters around the outside, so the architecture is even like the game. If you don't know what 'British Bulldogs' is then ask a kid, or a teacher or failing that we can play when we get home, in the meantime wait back in David Jones with your designer jeans.

THE OXFORD LIBRARY READING ROOM


Some Oxford University graduates of note include: CS Lewis, Lewis Carrol, Bill Clinton, Dudley Moore and JRR Tolkein. The latter was a lecturer attached to Exeter college (did you know he spoke 14 languages).

THE BAY WINDOW ROOM IN THE PICTURE WAS ONCE JRR TOLKEIN'S.(I know some of you are fans so I included this for your enjoyment!)


I'll pass over to Rachael for this next installment, part two of her book tour.

Visitng Stratford-upon-Avon is a must for bookworms travelling England. For those of you travelling with me, via this correspondence, I shall try to do S-upon-A justice.

We arrived in Stratford-upon-Avon at lunchtime and first stop was the birthplace of William Shakespeare. We visited the very house, nay the very room where WS was(said to be) born. William Shakespeare was the third child in the family and the little house was full of bits that were certainly (probably...possibly) belonging to the Shakespeare family.

We also visted the church where William Shakespeare was buried. He is buried in the crypt (rather than the graveyard) NOT because of his success as a playwright, but rather because he was a lay preacher. There you go - I didn't know that.

Stratford-upon-Avon is a lovely town with the river meandering through it and crooked streets with very old houses. We saw the houses belonging to everyone William Shakespeare was connected to - Anne Hathaway (his wife), his daughters, son-in-laws and his mother's homes. All lovely examples of old tudor style architecture.
The only house we didn't see was the one he owned. It was knocked down a hundred years ago when the then owner got cranky with the council (he knocked it down to avoid paying land taxes and to spite them!), but you can see the lovely block of land that it used to be on!

Now, if you were the type to shop and like brand names and Harrods, you would be tempted to buy up big in Stratford-upon-Avon. William Shakespeare's teapots, thimbles, hankies, cards, pencils, books, plates, doilies....it's all there. Of course, Ben nor I are the type to be sucked in by those things so I was only allowed a postcard. Sigh....I have saved many pounds though!

BIRTHPLACE OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE


Back to Ben now.

The final installment for our weekend was the very cool Warwick castle. There is heaps that I could write but there is just too much to tell you. Here is my list of blokey reasons why I think castles are great, gory and fascinating.

1. Murder holes - They are these holes where you could drop big rocks or boiling oil etc...on your enemies. Gory.

2. Arrow holes - Similar to above but arrows are great and the holes come in all sorts of shapes. Fascinating.

3. Kings live in Castles - so when your there you feel like a king.

4. Knights and armour are just cool all the time.

5. Going to the toilet straight into the river (see upcoming picture)

6. If castles are real and knights are real then maybe Dragons are real. (Very cool)

7. Drawbridge - the best way to avoid people you dont want to see.

8. Towers - You can see over all of your neighbours fences.

Castles are just great in general. The oldest walls in this castle were on the south side and dated from 1068 and were ordered to be made by William the Conqueror. Maybe I should have a name like that. Ben the destroyer. It has a real ring to it. Kind of like WWF real. You should try it with your name. Insist today thaty everyone you see calls you ____________ the brave. See how you feel at the end of the day!

WARWICK CASTLE


BEN ON THE WALLS OF THE CASTLE


RACHAEL WITH WAX PERSON DOING MEDIEVIL STUFF


BEN DOING MEDIEVIL STUFF

I know that this is the second toilet picture but the view through the hole that i am sitting on was quite interesting. It went straight down to the river. (about 20 metres) Difficult to miss really. Its just one toilet technology extreme to the other on this trip.

That's about it. Check out the Blog next Tuesday, the new installment should be up by then. We love you and miss you all. Have a great Australia Day. Watch some cricket and have a beer for us.

Love Ben and Rach

PS - Dont forget that if you leave a comment we cant respond as we dont have everyones email address. If you want us to respond then send us an email.
b.newton@pnc.com.au

PPS - ONe for the teachers. I had some trouble in my third period class in North London today. The kids were distracted all of a sudden because it started to snow although it only lasted for 20 minutes it was lovely! That's one distraction I haven't had to deal with until now!

What did you do on the weekend? The jealousy blog!

Venice – Rachael

One should not always take mind to how things begin. A thing can begin brilliantly, and then go pear-shaped. Or, a thing can begin very badly and turn out to be truly excellent. Thus was our pop-over to the continent – a weekend away in Italy’s amazing water city.

We were scheduled to depart Stansted Airport (London) at 7:00 – or more correctly, 19:00. 24 hour time is used extensively here, not just in airports and should have been well and truly mastered by Ben and I by now. Earlier in the week we had found that we hadn’t planned so well – not two whole days in Venice with a late Sunday night flight; we had booked a Sunday morning flight home at 10:10. No huge drama – we would have to make the most of our Saturday in Venice.

The plane took off with no mishap and we looked forward to landing in Treviso Venice at about 20:10. Unfortunately Venice was blanketed in a heavy fog and we would have to land in “Schmernnaejhjfh” – I’m sure that’s what the helpful stewardesses on Ryan Air said! After landing in Schmernnaejhjfh we looked around and found ourselves at an airport in Milan. After much following-others-who-looked-confident-and-maybe-like-they-spoke-Italian we all waited for helpful instructions on what to do next. It was 20:30.

No really helpful instructions came. We followed those confident travellers and, to cut a long, tiring, freezing cold and frustrating story short – we had to bus to Venice. It was equivalent to landing in Canberra when you want to be in Sydney. Although the writer appreciates Canberra (and remembers most fondly April Fool’s Day 2000 when Ben proposed) – it would be a most sad disappointment for travellers expecting the sights of Sydney. After much waiting, a long bus ride and then a water-bus(Vaporetto), we arrived at “Casa Linger Hotel” at 5am Saturday morning. Ben picks up and continues the story.

Venice - Ben

We awoke at 8am, three hours later, and struggled towards a cafe for a strong Italian coffee. The main reason we went to Venice on this particular weekend was because we were hoping to suprise some of the people from Penrith Anglican College who are on a three week tour of Italy and Greece. They met us in St Marks Square and we spent a lovely day walking through the streets, seeing the Doge's palace, seeing the Rialto Bridge, feeding the birds in St Marks square and eating Italian food (this was accompanied by an italian busker on the piano accordian in the evening) The day went quickly but it was fantastic.

The thing about Venice is that everything you would otherwise hate about somewhere else is what you love about Venice. For example, the streets are narrow and poorly lit with bad signposting, (elsewhere bad, cute in Venice). You get lost all the time down little back alleys and can’t walk in a straight line at any point for more than 50 meters. (Good in Venice). Some of the buildings lean a little and are clearly unstable, bad elsewhere but cute in Venice. The buildings don’t really have proper addresses. There is a distinct lack of tourist signage. You travel everywhere by boat or on foot (no cars in the city), our hotel lobby and rooms were up five flights of stairs. You stumble through the streets, finding great views which you weren't looking for, trying to make sense of your Lonely Planet map as you go. It’s discovery tourism at its best. Even though you know that people have lived there for hundreds of years, you still feel like you discover something for the first time when you walk down an alley and into a courtyard with 500 year old buildings starring down at you. If you love Backyard Blitz then you will love Venice, its acres of paving and one of the biggest water features you will ever see all rolled into one.

There isn't much else to say. We put some pictures down the bottom, including feeding the birds which is fantastic. So anyway guys, don't let us do all the talking. What did you do on the weekend?

VIEW OF ST MARK'S CHURCH FROM ST MARK'S SQUARE

THE PIAZZA

BEN FEEDING THE BIRDS(IT WAS FANTASTIC)

RACHAEL FEEDING THE BIRDS(CAN YOU SEE THE LOOK OF ENJOYMENT ON HER FACE?)

BRIDGE OF SIGHS

BEN WITH JENNY AND EMMA (FROM MY OLD SCHOOL - PAC)

THE GANG AT THE HOTEL

TYPICALLY VENICE

THE SIGNS SAY "MILITARY ZONE! KEEP OUT!" (WE HOPE THAT ITALY DOESN'T HAVE TO GO TO WAR AGAIN, THEIR HEARTS CLEARLY AREN'T IN IT!)

Our house, is a very, very, very fine house.

Where we live,

This is just a quick blog to show you where we are living as many people have asked us for a few pics. I have supplied a few. If anyone knows London we are living in Leyton which is about four stops (away from the city) from the Liverpool Street underground, on the central line. (Get out your tube map if you really are all that interested.)

I know that the picture of the outside is fairly non-descipt but basically all of the houses in the street look exactly the same, (like most of London) plus we don't want to be hunted down by crazy internet people. If you want the actual address just send us an email.

b.newton@pnc.com.au

There isn't really much to tell you about it. We live with a nice couple from south africa and an aussie girl who works at the "Cheers" bar in the city. You know the one, its where everybody knows your name, and their always glad you came!

Our room is pictured in all of its 120 pounds per week glory (That's $300 aussie dollars just for the room, but its a good deal in London and is about one days pay before tax for us.)

That brings me to the final two pictures. The wallpaper and the ceiling.
I have a Q that needs an A!

Q - Why do we bother with fashion when we know that as soon as we get it then its already going out of fashion?

Case in point is the lovely wallpaper and patterned ceiling. The types of things in at the moment are probebly going to go the same way. I wonder what the owners said when the house was first built? How would it compare to what is in fashion in homes at the moment? What did the real estate agent say to prospective clients?

"It has wooden floor, but you really must see the patterened ceiling!"
"It is rendered brick...but you must see the patterned ceiling!"
"Its light and airy with a lock up garage but if you can get past that your just going to love the patterened ceiling!"
"Open plan no! Patterened ceiling yes!"
"It does have stainless steel appliances but the big selling point is the patterned ceiling."
"Folks, once you see the patterened ceiling you'll fall in love with the place, plus we are prepared to carpet the walls for you and provide free lime green lino right through the hallways."

At some point I'm sure it was cool and its quirky enough to get cool again. Just wait and see. Patterened ceilings are coming back! That's my fashion prediction and the end of tonights blog. I promise the next one will be about something slightly more interesting!

We love you guys

Ben and Rach



LEYTON MAIN STREET

RACHAEL IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE

OUR ROOM

CLOSE-UP OF FANTASTIC WALLPAPER

CLOSE-UP OF FANTASTIC CEILING

Bath - The clean story!

This is going to be written in two parts, first my part, Ben.

Bath is an olden town where you go to look at old buildings and stuff. That's what we did in a nutshell. I am not a huge history buff but we did learn some very interesting, if completely useless facts. All facts came from the very reliable mayors guide Terry. If you would like to argue about the facts, Terry runs a free guided walking tour of the city, in Bath, near the pumphouse, go and see him as I don't think he has a blog.

1) In the olden days they used to work out the tax you paid by counting the number of windows you had in your house. More windows, more tax. To save money people would brick up their windows. This is where we get the term "Daylight Robbery".

2) People in the olden days often had small pox and other skin problems because of poor hygiene and so they wore face paint. The paint contained lead and would set completely hard - hence the term, "Dont smile or your face will crack." Even funnier, the lead would cause their eyebrows to fall out. To replace these they would skin mice and cut out eyebrow shapes. Very attractive.

3) The waters of bath are have been considered for thousands of years to have healing powers. A lot of research has currently suggested that its good for arthritis, although in the past it was considerd to fix other things (including infertility, but dont worry I didn't go anywhere near it). Aquatic refers to water. The doctors that used (aquatic)water to heal their patients were called Quacks(short for aquatic), and we still use the term today.

So there you go. That's my interesting history. Now for Rach.

Now for part two, Rachael.

Bath is wonderful! Terrific as London is, it was great to leave it behind for the weekend! We took a bus and drove through the countryside, passing fields divided by hedges and little stone cottages and taverns. It was exactly as I'd hoped England would be. This was the first stop on Rachael's self-guided literary tour of England(Ben was on the book tour too, but he didn't know that).

Bath was exactly up my alley. It is a beautiful old city, with a great deal of history. We took a walking tour with an elderly volunteer local, who knew all the stories and all his facts and figures. It was great! It was interesting to hear about the Barbarians, Romans and then the rich people who visited Bath for the 'season' in Georgian times - all very posh.

Bath is featured in all of Jane Austen's novels, with Northanger Abbey and Persuasion both being set there. Unfortunately when Jane herself lived in Bath she really didn't like it. We visited the Pump Room and Assembly Rooms which feature in Jane Austen's books and we (I) had a marvellous time exploring Bath as a Jane Austen fan. I thought of you Chris Baltaks the whole time! I had a lovely time at the Jane Austen Centre though I worried about the lives of the devoted fan club who Jane-Austenise everything in their path. Ben didn't love the museum, but coped admirably.

A quick run through of other Bath delights - tea shops, milliners, antiques, narrow cobbled streets, garden seats under crab apple trees, moss growing on slate rooves, a meandering river, wide stone paths, bakeries selling cream buns - need I go on?

Bath - if not for different reasons, we both loved it! Enjoy some of our pictures below.

Rachael


THE BATH ABBEY. MEDIEVIL CHURCH.


THE CIRCUS. 33 TERRACE HOUSES DESIGNED BY JOHN WOOD.


JANE AUSTEN MUSEUM. SHE LIVED IN BATH FOR SIX YEARS AND THIS HOUSE FOR A WHILE.


PULTNEY BRIDGE. IT HAS SHOPS ON IT.


BRIDGE FROM THE OTHER SIDE. THEY FILMED "VANITY FAIR" HERE(JUST RELEASED).


US AT THE ROMAN BATHS. 4M BELOW STREET LEVEL.


RACH WHERE THE WATER COMES FROM. THE KINGS BATH.


US AT THE EAST SIDE OF THE ABBEY.

Harrods

Dear readers - especially the girls,

I do have a great husband - he agreed to accompany me on a tour of Harrods! This store (sorry destination) has been high on my list of "must dos in England".

Harrods was almost all I hoped it would be. We kind of drifted through showrooms (rather than departments) where everyone was beautiful and the clothes even better. I saw much that I loved and a few things that were ghastly, yet wonderful - because they were in Harrods. Ben asked if I would wear one particular orange ensemble on display. Well, if the tag was on the outside and everyone knew it was from Harrods - of course, darling! We didn't really know how much anything cost - no price tags (Free then? Alas, no).

In the shoe department I saw an equisite pair of soft pink cowboy boots - a must have, obviously. Please give me some supportive feedback on this one. 120 pounds - reasonable I thought; is anyone with me? For anyone unsure of the conversion - x 2.5 for Aussie dollars.

We did spend up big in Harrods. We bought a packet of cards for 12 pounds. They are green and gold and they say "Harrods". We also took (Ben insists I say Rachael took) a sample of serviettes, sugars, toothpicks and other free things from the "Dress Cirle" cafe in Harrods. Apart from the cards and the free stuff, we just bought morning tea.

And this was the disappointment - they used Harrods tea but it was a TEABAG! In England, you gasp - I know! I rose above the incident (it was quite a good cup of tea for teabag tea) and enjoyed Harrods nonetheless. Next time I'm there (picking up my soft pink cowboy boots) I'll talk with them about the tea.

Love you all,

Rachael

PS - I have a friend who spent her trip to Egypt money on a suit from Harrods instead. While I am not sure this is a dsecsision I would make, itis one I respect.

Great Ideas - The London Eye

Hello everyone,

Although it was a few days ago that we went here I thought that I would post some pictures of the London Eye. For those of you who don't know what the london eye is(I certainly didn't until I considered this trip) it is a gigantic observation wheel,like a Ferris Wheel, that spins around so that you can see all of London. It is located right in the middle of the city and hangs out over the river - the pictures are a good way to show you.





I think that it is the most fantastic thing ever, up there with the best of modern architectural ideas and I thought that I would offer you the opportunity to comment. When the eye was built many people hated it and thought that it ruined the landscape of older London, what do you think?

I read the following story about the Eiffel Tower and tell it now to illustrate(I have told it as best as I can remember, I apologise for inaccuracies). When the Eiffel tower was first built lots of people hated it. One man set up a table under the tower with an umbrella and would sit all day selling food and other goods. He would complain to everyone about the tower and how ugly it was. One person asked him why he chose to set up so close to the tower if he hated it so much and he replied (insert french accent)"Because its the only place in all of Paris where I dont have to look at the ugly thing!"

LOOKING DOWN FROM THE EYE


Given these feelings I wonder if anybody had any crazy ideas for Sydney? The bridge climb was an inspired idea, for instance. Here is my crazy idea. We build some type of walkway or suspension bridge across the heads, from north to south head. Im seeing a lot of perspex or glass, maybe tinted to catch the morning and afternoon sun. Cool idea hey! You can walk across and snap photos and just enjoy the scary height.

What do you think?
Do you have a different idea?

Rachael has asked me to specify that she thinks its stupid and that nobody will like it. Anyway I look forward to your comments. Just remember what they thought of the Eiffel Tower. Tommorrow we start our new jobs, wish us luck.

We love you all.

Ben and Rach

BIG BEN, PARLIAMENT, WESTMINSTER ABBEY IN BACKGROUND

US ON THE EYE

New Years Day - A walk down the street

Happy New years everyone.

Rachael and I had intended to go out for new years but ended up sleeping through it. The next day though we went to the "Biggest street parade in europe" - which I think means firstly that america has a bigger one and number two, size refers to how long you can be expecting to stand on a cold London street for. We watched for about two and a half hours. It was my first street parade of any significance and it was really cool. Some strange things to note though, mostly visual:

1) There can be no other practical use for an oversized floating character other than a street parade. Q - How many parades are there, given that out there somewhere there is a company making these things? As I say, this is my first, but I don't get out much. My favourite is Babar the elephant.






2) Can London become any more multi-cultural? The all Indian Scottish bagpipe band.



3) How many American marching bands (we saw 6) and american cheer squads (we saw 3) can you put in europes biggest street parade held in London before its false advertising. Perhaps the signs should have said "contains 30% americans" - they were all fantastic though. For those of you who have seen the movie "Bring it on" - I just kept thinking "Spirit Fingers!"



4) Does it concern anyone else that in some point in the scientific development of humans this was considered a practical idea? Fun yes, practical No.



Well. That's it. Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine and the new year. We start work on Tuesday (Today is Sunday) and that is sure to bring some cool stories. We have done a few other things - like go to Harrods, but I promised Rachael I would let her write that one for the girls.

Oh...one more thing. Today at the supermarket I discovered that a horrible injustice has been thrust upon the english people and that they are likely to blame Australians for it. On the supermarket shelf I found a muddy, foul substance, they are attempting to pass off as Australia's faviourite beer - Fosters. I ask that any Australian beer makers of substance to get your product here ASAP. Its embarassing that we are being misrepresented in this way. Crown(One they would probably like the name of) Mr Boag, XXXX, even you oh VB, you must rise up and come to the mother country to destroy the market share of this evil beast. I implore you, do not let this injustice continue. Thankyou for your time.

Ben and Rach

PS (For Michael) - Those of you who have not read the comments, I do hereby reference one of the page sayings "I have a Q that needs an A" - as originating from my former very cool student Michael Van Raaphorst. Although I would like to point out that I marketed it in its current form to the world and retain all subsiduary rights. I also retain "Stop eating John!", and "Get out Luke!". OK then, its been special!